Pathetic

It is absolutely unbelievable how pathetic I am.

After being kicked away, after being left out in the cold like a mangy dog,
after being left to fade into nonexistence I still crawl after you, hinging on your ever word.

I clap as loud as I can when you shine on stage, listen whenever you talk, I videoed your class, just for another chance to talk to you.

And though it's safe to say you'll never read this, I really shouldn't be posting, not this, and especially not now.

I though I'd had my last say, that night, when we were at the movies? I was the snarky and confident one, I was the alpha.

I should have left it there too, but something inside me still wants to be your friend, something inside me still won't let go.

I've heard of girls go crawling after ex-boyfriends, but ex-bestfriends?

Now it's just getting ridiculous.


I completely understand why you wouldn't want to be my friend, so why do I still want to be your friend?

I am so pathetic, that in fact I'd rather be a hanger-on than a class mate.

To all the others that read this, maybe I AM pathetic, maybe I AM being dumb, but until you've had an old friend leave you, don't judge me too harshly.

One day I'll forget about you, "Friend", and I half dread, half welcome that day.

But just for next time you have a friend you don't want, I think that it's kinder to tell someone straight to their face what they're doing wrong, or that you don't want to be friends anymore; than leave them hanging.

After all, wouldn't that just be too cruel?