Sunday, January 8, 2012

Not all there

Almost there, but not quite.
Still trapped, on the other side of the mirror.

Mind on one side, body on other.

Disconected.

That unsetteling feeling, of floating away.

Of losing yourself, within yourself.

False smiles and cheesy lines run rampant, in this world of theft and fraud.

It's my day, so why have I not claimed it?

A year ago, I never thought I'd wake up on my birthday,
look into the mirror, and silently scream "fat, ugly cow".

The blade swings closer and closer, nicking my skin;
a fat, ruby orb of blood wells up on my finger.

A cry, a cry for help,
goes unheard.

They don't want to know, nor she them.

Four photos.

Stripey gloves.

And half a packet of sushi later,
the empty feeling inside has intensified,
fear and shame join the mix.

Slowly,
but surely falling
deeper into this world of sadness and pain,
that she could ever have imagined.

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