Dark New Years

Midnight approaches fast,
the new year is almost upon us.

It is time,
for thinking,
of what was, what is, and what will be.
It's a time to make wishes and dream for the future.
It's time to be thankful for what we've got,
and celebrate another year of survival.

But how can I, with all this racket?

The wind howls,
the rain splatters the glass,
even the whirring of the fridge is loud tonight.

But the nosiest things of all, are in my head.

Sirens blare and animals shriek,
the voices in my head grow louder and louder,
uttering words of darkness and despair,
never stopping,
all consuming.

Now is not a time,
to look forward,
to life.

Now is the time,
to begin counting the days,
'til death.